Tortuguero Trip – Day Dos (by John)

As described in our past few blog entries the first day of our short Tortuguero getaway was an activity-filled 24 hours of new experiences. Our day two itinerary was a little less hectic but included some new experiences as well. Waking up in our screened-in, porch-like cabin in the jungle was extremely pleasant. Per usual, I woke up early but atypically to to the smells and sounds of the jungle. The howler monkeys were accommodatingly quiet most of the night but were now rather animated. I decided to get up and venture down the elevated walkway in search of a pre-six a.m. cup of coffee.

As the Costa Rican coffee began to work its magic I remembered that our first activity of the day, after our buffet breakfast, was a nature walk with our guide, Bernardo. I then pieced together a set of rather fuzzy events from the previous evening, my 60th birthday. It began with a rather innocuous piña colada and a margarita chaser. It culminated with a rather grande complementary birthday shot of tequila, a lapse in judgement and a $70 credit card charge for an 11:00 a.m. zipline, canopy tour for two. I had successfully avoided ziplining for exactly 60 years, in part due to my fear of heights, in part due to my fear of falling from high places and in part due to my fear of lack of proximity to the ground. Today, suddenly, at 60 years and one day of age, I was about to undertake one of the few activities specifically excluded by name in my newly acquired health insurance policy.

I agreed to this uncharacteristic, daredevilish endeavor, in part because I knew Cindy really wanted to do it, in part because of tequila-induced bravado and in part because at 60 years old I have lived a good life. Oh well, more on our aerial antics later. Our first order of business, after a perfectly adequate by Costa Rican standards buffet breakfast, was a guided nature walk throughout the grounds.

We met our guide Bernardo and the all-too-familiar and all-too-handsome Spanish couple with whom we were now sharing most of our waking moments. Our lodge and the two adjacent lodges are owned by the same company and connected by a winding, elevated concrete walkway designed to keep us above the muck and mire of the rain forest. Like all travel in Costa Rica, our walk would be measured in time, not distance. It would be approximately 1 1/2 hours of shuffling a few steps followed by a discussion of a plant, insect, bird or animal in English or Spanish then Spanish or English. Much like shopping, this type of shuffle standing can be quite exhausting.

We did see some interesting jungle life: spiders, land crabs (inedible), tucans (toucans), strangling vines and others. The low-light conditions and lack of a tripod made it difficult to get many good pictures. We saw some type of lizard that could lose and regenerate its tail as a defense mechanism, but only once per lifetime. We saw a plant related to a bird of paradise that attracts birds and certain snakes, probably of the colorful and venomous variety such as the eyelash viper. I am not a fan of snakes but was somewhat disappointed that we didn’t see a single snake on our entire trip in a country with 130 species of snakes, 22 of which are venomous.

• 

• 

Toward the end of our walking tour we mentioned to Bernardo that we had signed up for the optional zipline excursion at 11:00. He seemed somewhat surprised to learn that, perhaps because we don’t look like the ziplining types or perhaps because we had signed up in the dark of the previous night. He informed us that the tour company would pick us up at 11 on the dock. Our discussion prompted a discussion between Bernardo and the Spanish Ken and Barbie, in Spanish. We surmised they were either unaware of the optional excursion or not about to be outdone by an old gringo couple.

At 11:00 a.m. we were promptly stationed by the dock as any by-the-clock, Estadounidenses (United Statesians) would be. Spaniard Barbie arrived fashionably late just after 11 a.m. and informed us that fashionably later, Spaniard Ken would be joining us shortly after completing his engagement in el baño. Our transportation boat arrived as did Spaniard Ken and we were off to meet our fate in the canopy.

After a very short boat ride across the river, we were greeted by the friendly Tico trio to whom we were about to entrust our lives. The first formality was the acknowledgment and casual signing away of any liability for loss of limb, life, loved ones and/or loose change. Next was the sales pitch for photos and videos of our aerial travails. Cindy is always an easy mark for a photo package so we promptly expressed interest in the $10 USD each add-on. The cost for the canopy tour was only $35 each including the boat transportation to and from so the additional $10 for photo evidence of our stupidity was a no-brainer. (From Cindy – this canopy tour was described by the main tour guide on the way to our lodge as the “cheapest” in Costa Rica. This wasn’t exactly a selling point for John. Do you really want to trust your life with the cheapest zipline in the country?)

Now that the business end of our potential demise was completed it was time for harness and helmet fitting and verbal instructions in English and Spanish. The fashion-forward, form-flattering harnesses were “muy elegante” but not the most comfortable accessory I’ve ever worn, especially when they become the business end of dead-weight, dangle. They tend to constrict in some sensitive places but perhaps not as much as the boas below should they fail.

The instructions that I recall, began with braking when given the command by pulling down on the cable with the padded glove on your hand that should be trailing the pulley as to not put fingers at risk. Conversely, there was instruction about not braking when given the command as to not leave yourself dangling in the middle of a span of cable. There was a wholly unnecessary rule about not detaching yourself from the harness or cable. Finally, there was encouragement to appear to be having fun and showing no terror so the photos and videos taken could be used for promotional purposes without frightening away other potential customers. The instructor reassured us that, while this was only his first day speaking in English, it was his second day on the job so we were in good hands (Tico humor).

We then did a quick training run on a near-to-the-ground zipline before ascending the 15 meter ladder to the first of 10 or 12 separate zipline segments. Cindy was chosen to be the first one up the ladder which, much like the ascent up the first big hill on a roller coaster, was probably the most frightening part of the adventure. Once all four of us were safely on the 15 meter platform, one-by-one we zipped down the first run. I must say that that the 3 staff that guided us through the course were extremely professional and safety conscious. Our harnesses had multiple connectors and they always connected one to the next apparatus before disconnecting the one on the current apparatus.

We did 10-12 zipline runs, some required braking and some did not. There were also a couple of catwalks and a tight wire to keep things interesting. This was actually a great place for our first zipline tour. Neither the heights nor the speeds were extreme. The runs were fairly short and we were the only four people on the course.

Once safely back on the ground we were treated to the sight of a poison dart frog. This was one of my bucket list items for Costa Rica and the only one we saw on the trip to Tortuguero. I’m hoping to see more on future adventures because they are extremely colorful creatures. We also saw a cayman in the water below a bridge walkway on the property.

• 

• 

• 

• 

We went into the office to view the photos and videos they took during our tour. We discovered that they planned to deliver them to us on DVDs that would be dropped off at the lodge later in the day. We explained that we no longer have DVD drives on our computers. They asked if we were on WhatsApp (instant messaging app commonly used is Central America). Luckily we are so they said they could send us the photos and videos. The video guy provided us with his Costa Rican cell number (aka WhatsApp number) and instructed us to text him and he would respond to our text with the photos and videos attached. We were to pay the $20 at the front desk of our lodge. Little did we know, this would be the part of our zipline adventure most likely to render us physical harm or imprisonment.

Back at the lodge, I promptly sent a message on WhatsApp to the video guy at the number he provided us with. The message said, “Please send photos for John & Cindy to +(506) 9999-9999. Muchas gracias.” The nines represent my Costa Rican cell number. According to State’s evidence, I sent the message at 12:49 p.m.

After a perfectly adequate by Costa Rican standards buffet lunch, again with rice, we once again headed to the dock where we would embark on our final official excursion for the trip – a beach walk and free time in Tortuguero Village (the town). The excursion is really the obligatory gift shop at the end of a museum tour – an opportunity to help the local economy and was of only moderate interest to us. It came with the tour package though, so, like a fork in the road, we would would take it.

Cindy has already mentioned the beach walk portion of the tour in her previous blog about the turtle excursion so I will fast forward to the town tour. Tortuguero Village is a tiny town with no cars and about 1,000 residents who make their livings from tourism. The central “Main Street” is filled with shops, restaurants and tour companies.

• 

• 

We walked the length of the main street and back and found ourselves with over an hour to fill and no inclination to do much other than avoid the hot sun. We found a coffee shop and enjoyed a couple of delicious iced lattes to kill time.

• 

• 

We did see one or two establishments with large piles of boots outside lying exposed to the elements. I assumed they were trash but why just boots, seemingly thousands of boots? There was also a hand drawn picture of a snake striking at a boot with a big X signifying a failed bite attempt. I now regret not taking any photos of boot hill. Later we would learn that you can hike the trails in the National Park there and that boots are a necessity due to the muck and mire. I’m not sure if snake bites are really a big issue or if the sign was just a marketing gimmick to entice people to put on smelly old boots, warn previously by who knows whom and stored in the open elements (probably likely to have snakes coiled up inside).

The trash receptacles were interesting but in an old, creepy sort of way. The one the remains indelibly etched in my memory is the clown bin shown below. Answering the telefono shown would undoubtedly yield a clown call that, upon tracing, would most certainly come from within the main street… Get Out Now!

• 

• 

Finally our boat returned to take us back to the lodge so we gladly boarded and returned for our last evening buffet with rice, and drinks by the pool with complimentary microwave popcorn served by our friendly bartender. It was while we were sitting by the pool enjoying our margaritas that we were suddenly interrupted by a group of spider monkeys “trapezing” through the trees above.

We had still not received the photos and videos from our zip lining excursion. (From Cindy – I swear the Spanish Ken and Barbie were looking at zip line pictures when they were seated near us in the bar, so I urged John to follow up. Does that make me culpable as well?) I sent a follow-up message at, according to State’s evidence, 8:24 p.m. I mentioned that we paid the $20 at the reception desk so please forward the photos. The following morning Cindy would discover from the women at the reception desk that the ziplining people never received our WhatsApp messages. She provided us with their number which, as it turns out, was a different number than the one they had written down for us. I messaged the new number and shortly thereafter received our photos and videos. Case closed… or so we thought.

After arriving home on Saturday night I received the message shown in picture, below. Apparently, my demands for photos and videos had been errantly delivered to some 11 year old girl who, based my interpretation of the tone of the WhatsApp response received, likely had a very unhappy parent who would most likely not see the humor in this situation. Rather than explain the whole sequence of events I decided it best to end all communication and hope that the policia would not be called.

I had to skip forward slightly to wrap up the photo/video story. Where we left off was with day two of our Totuguero Adventure now in the books we retired to our cabin for what we thought would be another peaceful night’s sleep nestled in the rain forest. Find out just how wrong we were by reading Cindy’s post that wraps up our trip.